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Emerg in Costa Rica (part 2)

So Eric is completely unfamiliar with this process.  He’s a very healthy young man, and hasn’t had any experience with hospitals.  Before we even begin he’s questioning everything, you know, cause that’s what he does.

THE WRISTBAND

Do I really have to put this on?

Why do I need it?  Can’t I just tell them no?  Why not?

Why are they putting me in a wheel chair?  But I walked here!  Do I really have to go in the wheel chair?

THE BED

Why is there paper on the bed?  Should I move it before I sit?

I can’t sit here, there’s paper on it!  But I’m gonna rip the paper!!!

Do they recycle this?  It’s so wasteful.

THE DOCTOR

Doc:  Eric, dime lo que pasó!

Him:  *blank stare*

Doc: *looks at me*

Me:  *looks at Eric*

*crickets*

 

THE X-RAYS

Me: Eric, take off your flip flop.

Him:  Why? 

Me:  *evil mother glare*  just. take. it. OFF.

Him: Why is the machine making that noise?

Me: Cause you’re getting nuked.

Him: awesome.  Do I get to keep the x-ray?

Me:  NO!

Him:  Do they have a morgue here?

Me:  I’m sure.

Him: Can we go?

Me: NO.

Him: Can’t you tell them it’s for homeschooling?

Me:

THE ULTRASOUND

Me:  (noticing his filthy jungle feet)  ERIC!  YOUR FEET!!!  Quick! Go into the bathroom and wash them before…

*doc walks in*

damn.

Doc:  *looks at foot … looks at me*

Me:  *hangs head in shame*

Doc:  proceeds to squeeze goop on foot which cleans the jungle dirt right off.

Time to go.

Doc hands Eric x-ray.  Eric is happy.

 

 

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