So Eric is completely unfamiliar with this process. He’s a very healthy young man, and hasn’t had any experience with hospitals. Before we even begin he’s questioning everything, you know, cause that’s what he does.
Do I really have to put this on?
Why do I need it? Can’t I just tell them no? Why not?
Why are they putting me in a wheel chair? But I walked here! Do I really have to go in the wheel chair?
Why is there paper on the bed? Should I move it before I sit?
I can’t sit here, there’s paper on it! But I’m gonna rip the paper!!!
Do they recycle this? It’s so wasteful.
Doc: Eric, dime lo que pasó!
Him: *blank stare*
Doc: *looks at me*
Me: *looks at Eric*
Me: Eric, take off your flip flop.
Me: *evil mother glare* just. take. it. OFF.
Him: Why is the machine making that noise?
Me: Cause you’re getting nuked.
Him: awesome. Do I get to keep the x-ray?
Him: Do they have a morgue here?
Me: I’m sure.
Him: Can we go?
Him: Can’t you tell them it’s for homeschooling?
Me: (noticing his filthy jungle feet) ERIC! YOUR FEET!!! Quick! Go into the bathroom and wash them before…
*doc walks in*
Doc: *looks at foot … looks at me*
Me: *hangs head in shame*
Doc: proceeds to squeeze goop on foot which cleans the jungle dirt right off.
Time to go.
Doc hands Eric x-ray. Eric is happy.